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Tue06Jul2021

Day 5

Well, day 5 of the.. "overwhelmed to the point of depression" week.  I'm sleeping in shifts now which probably isn't the best way to do so, and leaves ted alone for most of the time.  Which is good & bad.  Good in that he can relax, bad in that he gets lonely & then gets depressed.

Tried creating a new ui for healing that really has me floored.  I can see the value in it but not sure if I have the brain power to use it effectively.  The bad part is there is no way to test if I can w/o just doing it.  That makes it bad for everyone else.  I've got to really try to think this thru WITHOUT driving myself insane.

Read more: Day 5

Mon05Jul2021

Depression...

Depression is such an annoying thing.

One minute your fine, the next your depressed with often times no real reason why.  And sometimes its the stupidest of things that is so depressing.
This is the 3rd day this week that I've felt this way.  Thankfully its not overwhelming depression.  It simply feels like nothing is going to get done & even if it were it wouldn't be good enough.  I'm not good enough.

My oxygen levels have been 88 when waking the last two days so that might be a contributing factor.
GOD I HATE GETTING OLD!

Thu03Jun2021

Aging...

Getting older is so weird.  Most days your fine and then others you feel like you got run over by a truck.
Just now I'm sitting here going thru the things I need to do and suddenly a way of depression hits me like a truck.  "Damn your old and falling apart dude!"
Getting old is NOT for the weak.
Wed19May2021

weird...

Another night where I'm feeling weird.

Why am I lonely right now.  Is it because everyone has been asleep for hours and I'm not?  Is it because the members of wow I normally run with were gone today?
Is it cause its 5am and I'm alone?
Is it lonlieness that makes you feel empty inside?
Damn I wish I was still married to a wife that was trustworthy.

Fri05Feb2021

Befuddled

Why do I always feel half brain dead when I stay up @ night.  Sitting here somewhere between depression & boredom.

Just got done healing a run and am shaking like a leaf!  Never had that experience before.

Fri22Jan2021

Brain fog

Day #2 of being in a brain fog.  Not as bad as yesterday when I forgot to take Tuesday's meds but still not thinking clearly.
Medically things sure are a mess right now.  Got appointments mon, tue, wed next week to START sorting things out.
I wonder why I hate leaving the house now?
Something I should definetly bring up at my next counseling session.

So glad inaguration went off smoothly.  Let just pray it continues to go as well.
selah

Mon18Jan2021

Weird mood

I sit here in one of my weird moods.  Don't feel like playing games, a bit hard to think, too awake to sleep yet too tired to be cognizant of much.
Wed13Jan2021

Prayers for 2021

It's with great trepidation & prayer that we start 2021.  2020 was a disaster.  2021 is starting out with the worst revolt we've seen in over 150yrs.  The behavior of those who encouraged, supported and engaged in the attack on our capitol are shameful & imo 100% unworthy of citizens of our country.  I pray this is a one off sad event in 2021 and not the beginning of even more 2020 garbage.

I fear for our future president as there has been so much hate built up over the last 6 years that its exploding.  I'm worried he'll be the ultimate target of that hate.  I pray i'm wrong and that instead this country will finally start pulling itself back together again.

please GOD BLESS THE USA.. we need it & you more then ever now.

selah
Sat12Dec2020

bleh

Not sure how I'm feeling today.  Woke up really early and felt "ok" but now I'm just "bleh".  Second day in a row I've not felt "normal".  Yesterday was just bored out of my mind!
On a positive note, I went to bed @ 2200 and slept on/off ( like always ) till 0445.
MAYBE my sleep schedule is starting to approach a normal humans.
Sat28Nov2020

Family

Sometimes family can say things that are just brutal.
Wed25Nov2020

svg favicons

a new pr was merged today ( https://github.com/joomla/joomla-cms/pull/31436 ) allowing for using svg's as favicons,  which is kinda cool.
BUT there is zero documentation on how to use it.  Why does Joomla continually do this to itself?

It's the little things like this that prevent it from being the #1 cms on the planet.

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