Well, day 5 of the.. "overwhelmed to the point of depression" week.  I'm sleeping in shifts now which probably isn't the best way to do so, and leaves ted alone for most of the time.  Which is good & bad.  Good in that he can relax, bad in that he gets lonely & then gets depressed.

Tried creating a new ui for healing that really has me floored.  I can see the value in it but not sure if I have the brain power to use it effectively.  The bad part is there is no way to test if I can w/o just doing it.  That makes it bad for everyone else.  I've got to really try to think this thru WITHOUT driving myself insane.
I've still got my old way setup so worst case, I punt and go back to what I know.
It's "interesting" how many things that were very simple for you to do as a young man seem to require a  herculean effort now.
I go Thursday for my ct's so we'll see what the surgeon says after that.
Keep praying that we figure out how to get our legs underneath us and start putting this house back together.
Selah

Depression is such an annoying thing.

One minute your fine, the next your depressed with often times no real reason why.  And sometimes its the stupidest of things that is so depressing.
This is the 3rd day this week that I've felt this way.  Thankfully its not overwhelming depression.  It simply feels like nothing is going to get done & even if it were it wouldn't be good enough.  I'm not good enough.

My oxygen levels have been 88 when waking the last two days so that might be a contributing factor.
GOD I HATE GETTING OLD!

Getting older is so weird.  Most days your fine and then others you feel like you got run over by a truck.
Just now I'm sitting here going thru the things I need to do and suddenly a way of depression hits me like a truck.  "Damn your old and falling apart dude!"
Getting old is NOT for the weak.

Another night where I'm feeling weird.

Why am I lonely right now.  Is it because everyone has been asleep for hours and I'm not?  Is it because the members of wow I normally run with were gone today?
Is it cause its 5am and I'm alone?
Is it lonlieness that makes you feel empty inside?
Damn I wish I was still married to a wife that was trustworthy.

Why do I always feel half brain dead when I stay up @ night.  Sitting here somewhere between depression & boredom.

Just got done healing a run and am shaking like a leaf!  Never had that experience before.