Sun10Mar2024

Sometimes things suck

Last week has been full of a lot of drama.  Very little of it, imo, was triggered by anything I did wrong.  I've spent the last 3 days completely alone in an atmosphere touted to create a space so you DON"T feel that way.

Wed29Nov2023

Depressed

Feeling lonely/depressed tonight.  Nothing in particular is wrong just feeling *MEH*
This kinda says it all.  Decided to end my kick stream ( http://kick.com/BearLeeAble ) early as "I'm just not feeling it tonight."  Guess I'll go watch some mindless TV as I can't/don't want to focus on anything right now.  If I get too despondent I'll wake my son up and talk to him but I hate to bother him.

Anxiety and Depression Wellness Checklist - Alpha Kappa Psi

Wed29Nov2023

Been a while

Hi folks, its been a while since I posted.

Since my last post I've had a mini-stroke but have recovered.  I FEEL normal but my friends say I've grown grumpier since then.  Christmas is upon us and finances are low this year so I'm struggling to find that holiday cheer.
Otherwise life is good.  I feel "normal" but do admit I struggle moving around now more then before which frustrates my son.
I'll try to remember to write more often.  Have a blessed holiday season.

Fri06Oct2023

Mindless night

Been a while since I've posted anything.  Apparently I had a mini-stroke friday.  I feel fine other than a bit mindless.  Harder to sleep then it used to be.  Can't seem to find a routine and my fingers seem slower than before.  They changed my meds a bit and some of their changes don't make any sense.
Tue12Sep2023

Streaming on kick.com

I'm happy to say we are now streaming daily on kick.com  .  Come check us out at http://kick.com/BearLeeAble we stream daily.

I stream world of warcraft & farlight 84 games and love to chat with my viewers.

Kick is a streaming platform much like twitch is. Unlike twitch they share their ad revenue better with their streamers. While its a young service its growing quickly and is very popular with streamers.

Mon29May2023

New site

New site design is pretty much complete sans more content.  We're using Joomla! 4.3.1 now so we're not using EOL software anymore.
I'm happy with the new template though I leave a lot to be desired when it come to design, which is why AmGraphix always works with the customers and does the design.  I'm happy doing the tweaking she wants done to customize the template beyond "normal settings".  Sometimes it's challenging but very rewarding when a customer gives a shining testimonial like so many have done.
I've been working with Ali for 10yrs now and we have a great relationship.  We use Abivia for all of our hosting as it's rock solid and the customer service is stellar.

Read more: New site

Sat27May2023

Quiet Night

It's a quiet night tonight.  Everyone's asleep and I'm playing wow.
get bored easily playing it these days as there is very little to do.
Poor Ted is still without his pc so we are sharing mine as much as possible.
 
Bought a Craftsman LT2000 last week and it broke down the 1st time we used it.  Damn my luck with mowers is bad.
Luckily its only a $30 part but it turns out the carb is bad also and thats another $30 *sigh*
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Sat13May2023

Quiet night

Another quiet night.  Sitting here alone, as always, without much to do.  Leaves my mind too many things to ponder on.
Not much to do in wow, coding done for the month.  No sites to work on other then this one.  Just kinda a blah evening.
The month is going very very slow and once again our finances are upside down.  Gosh how I wish I had the $ to fix our house up so its a home not a wreck.
New meds does help me sleep 4hrs + at a time now so thats a positive change.  Guess thats all to share for now.
 
Thu27Apr2023

Lonely night

Another lonely night.  Seem to be having those alot lately.
Went to bed around midnight but only slept for an hour before I was too awake to fall back to sleep.
After a couple of hours of gaming I'm now lonely.  Least I think that's what this is.
I've noticed lately A LOT of mouth twitching.  I THINK its most prominent when there's nothing in my mouth and I'm concentrating.
You can see it here...

Read more: Lonely night

Mon10Apr2023

Another night

Another one of those weird nights...
Slept on/off most of the day and now i'm sitting here in a zombie state.  Not awake enough to do anything constructive and of course everyone else in my social circle is sound asleep so nobody to talk to. 
I just stare at the screen.
No desire to do anything.
My mind is going 40,000 kph so can't really focus on anything.  Not even gaming is appealing.
Sat08Apr2023

Tears of ?

It's weird how sometimes I'll be sitting here and a tear or two will fall for no apparent reason.  I don't feel depressed as I understand it, nor joyful.  Just "meh".
Nothing "feels" wrong.  I'm just experiencing my night, doing whatever it is I'm doing.  In this case I'm sitting here playing WOW listening to various genre's of music.  Some upbeat some not.  Just a random YT stream mix.
The human body is so strange.
Nobody will probably see thsi till after I'm gone but I'm not sure that I put it here for others to see but instead just to document my feelings/thoughts so that if someday someone wants to know more about "Bear" they will know.
selah

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